Shekinah, Isis and the Flying Spaghetti Mother - Part 1

I don't remember the exact number, but something like more than 80% of the trees in the Northern Hemisphere were pulverised by the last Great Ice Age.

We Shekinites say that this affected, along with a myriad other things - gender relations; and that the effect is written large across the movie screens of comparative religion slash mythology. Imagine if 80% of the readily available, affordable alcoholic beverages or quasi-stylish local garments disappeared. Would that have an affect on gender relations where you live?

I dare say poor Fred and poor, poor Barney, for all their furs, in the end knew the truth. Barney, lying there in a glistening little pool of his own blood. The honed shell, blood-edged, there in his pudgy little comic cartoon hand.

About seven or eight years ago, some Central Australians told the world the truth in the Fairfax newspapers. Four paragraphs, under a photo. Not of the Barney thing, but.

I mean, one day in 332 AD Emperor Flavius Valerius Aurelius Constantinus (aka Constantine the Great) issued a decree. He decreed that henceforth [and in the Greek tradition] all the Conquered Peoples in the Empire were free to continue to practice their local religions.

But if those same CPs wanted to pray to any local female deities? Old Constantine, the first Christian Emperor, decreed that they had to pick up the phone [now] and dial 9999-MARY, or else. Hmmm...

Funnily enough, just a little later on the same day in Japan, somebody finally got around to codifying their religious beliefs! I mean, in spite of all their nous with food presentation and interior design - they were, like, the last people on Earth with church!

That's gotta be a bad thing, right?


There's a cute little tale of two Japanese spiritual opposites who meet in a bar in the Middle of Nowhere. Somebody had just paid off her - I mean, their credit card bill and biological imperative-related hijinks ensue apace. Somebody, in this post-Ice Age story, gets a little ahead of him- or her- self, with hilarious and messy consequences.

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